Dana Scully a-la Chuck Norris

This was passed onto me by a friend and credit for this goes to Trustno1scully. 

1. Dana Scully can slam a revolving door. 



2. Dana Scully can unscramble an egg. 



3. Dana Scully doesn’t need oxygen; oxygen needs Dana Scully



4. If at first you don’t succeed…then you’re not Dana Scully. 



5. Dana Scully counted to infinity…twice.

6. Crop circles are Dana Scully’s way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down. 



7. Dana Scully made banana bread using a monkey. 



8. Dana Scully ordered a big mac at burger king…and got one. 



9. Dana Scully can touch mc hammer. 



10. If Dana Scully is late, time better slow the **** down.

11. The chief export of Dana Scully is awesome. 



12. Dana Scully is the only human being to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. 



13. Dana Scully knows where Carmen San Diego is. 



14. If you have five dollars and Dana Scully has five dollars, Dana Scully has more money than you.

15. A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people, it signifies that this spot belongs to Dana ****ing Scully and you will be handicapped if you park there.

16. Dana Scully does not worry about changing her clock twice a year for daylight savings time, the sun sets and rises when Dana Scully tells it to. 



17. If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all three at the same time? Dana Scully. 



18. Dana Scully does not use spell check. If she misspells a word, oxford simply changes the actual spelling of the word. 



19. Aliens do exist; they are just waiting for Dana Scully to die before they take over. 



20. Dana Scully got a perfect score on her SATS simply by putting ‘Dana Scully’ for every answer.