I got bored. This is what happened. Hope you enjoy it! :P
Dear friends, family, and covert unnamed secret government members who will no doubt intercept this,
First off, we must apologize for taking six years to send out our first family Christmas letter, but as most of
you know, the past few years have been a little hectic (to say the least). Thankfully this year has allowed
some return to normalcy!
As most of you know, neither of us are with the FBI anymore. Although it was only nine years, being made
fun of, shot, hunted, infected with alien viruses, lied to, abducted, killed, and generally hated by humans
and non-humans alike, we felt it was time for a change.
Since leaving the FBI, Scully (Dana for you family members) has gone back to school and become a
neurosurgeon. She spends most of her days at the Our Lady of Sorrows Hospital, which you may have
seen in the news lately. The job is stressful and sometimes incredibly depressing, but thankfully the
invention of Google and the internet has sped up the diagnostic part of the job considerably. She says the
best part of the job is working with the kids.
Although she doesn’t have much free time these days, Scully still likes to read as much as she can. Most
recently gracing the nightstand is Dori Carter’s "Beautiful Wasps Having Sex". If you haven’t read it yet, she
highly suggests it!
Mulder has moved his work home, to our new house in [undisclosed location]. The house itself is rather
unremarkable, but we’ve managed to make it our own. Even The Fish have gotten used to it! He spends
his days keeping up "The Lone Gunmen" newspaper, researching and ghost writing for other related
magazines and journals, and throwing pencils at the ceiling. Every Thursday he makes a trip to town for
iced tea and sunflower seeds. On occasion he picks up some messy spare ribs and giant plastic bib
napkins, as we have not eaten chicken from a bucket for 13 years.
Most recently, we’ve just taken our first vacation in years. It was a much needed escape from the stress of
work and the snow! Spending a week on [undisclosed island] was amazing. It was the first time in a very
long time we’ve been able to relax and just let the rest of the world fade away. We were both able to
work on our tans as Mulder tried out his rowing skills. Aside from an odd number of ever-present
hovering black helicopters, the vacation was everything we could have hoped for. Mulder even bought a
new tropical fish for his tank. He named him Felix.
We’d like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and all the best for a happy, healthy New Year!
Hopefully we’ll see you soon, but if not, we invite you all to join us in our [undisclosed secret bunker] in
December of 2012! (Offer does not apply to covert unnamed secret government members who will no
doubt intercept this).
All our love,
Scully and Mulder